I just couldn't keep it a secret any longer... I've been the one behind those DoS attacks all along. I swear, I was only doing it for the attention. My programming work hasn't been going well recently, my landlord keeps insinuating things about me having some sort of odor problem, and, well, you get the idea.
But I won't do it anymore, I promise! My conscience has taught me a lesson. Any DoS attacks after this point are simply the work of goat impersonators, I swear.
Whew, I feel much better now. God, I need some pants. *munch* *munch munch*