4 legs

(no subject)

I got mentioned in the latest news post!

Krissy asked me if I had anything to say about April's charity vgifts -- oh, boy, did I ever. For some reason, though, they didn't want to post my entire 12-page-long email about how awesome I think it is that we -- you, us! -- donated 14 goats to Heifer International. But they got the important bits, at least. Nice work, LJ!

(I spent some time trying to convince them not to donate me. No, I said, LJ will go to ruin without me. I'm still here. I think I convinced them.)
deck the goat

another goat?

burr86 woke me up this morning, bright and early. "I really wish I didn't have to be the one to tell you this," he said, "But I think deflatermouse found another goat." Oh, man, was I peeved. What was Simon thinking? LJ is my turf, and as long as you're on my turf, you play by my rules. And that means: no other goats!

I called Simon and confronted him. "Is there another goat in your life, Simon?"

"Uh, what?"

"I mean, I'll understand if you're not interested in our relationship anymore. People grow, people change."

"Oh, Frank, baby. You're still my one and only."

"So who's the other goat?"

I heard a laugh on the other end, one of those laughs that told me there was so much more to the story than I thought. "Well," Simon explained, "you've been such a great helper around the office. Always taking care of LJ, always making sure everything runs as best as you can. So I figured, for Christmas, that I'd get another goat." He emailed me a picture.



Okay, fine, I'll admit. That's one hot goat, and if I weren't in a committed relationship with LJ, I'd even ... ahem, nevermind. But that wasn't the point! Simon! Another goat! It's true! "We don't --"

He cut me off before I could finish. "Not for us! Do you think there's any goat who could replace you? I bought a goat from Oxfam, so we could spread the joy of having a goat to other families." (Simon's a bit of a geek, he even said "a href equals" and gave me the link over the phone.) "I love you, and you love me, and I wanted to share our love with others."

I breathed a sigh of relief as he continued, "I didn't want to tell you yet. I wanted it to be a surprise."

It was indeed a surprise! And, selfishly, was I relieved to hear that Simon wasn't cheating on me with another goat. But what a great present, indeed -- it was such a great present that I came to post about it right away! And, take it from me: whatever holiday you celebrate, consider giving the joy of a goat next year. Just make sure to tell any other goats in your life before they get suspicious!

Happy holidays, everyone!
i say what

I'm on TV?

Samantha wrote into LJ's Feedback address and showed us this:



[link]

Watch carefully at about 1:15. No, I haven't had lunch, but I'm intrigued! (Thanks, Samantha!)
  • Current Mood
    shocked shocked
pants

Holiday!

Oh sure, everyone knows today is Cinco de Mayo. But did you also know today is No Pants Day?

I'm trying to decide how I can best celebrate this holiday, since I don't wear pants anyway. Do I fast for spiritual cleansing (are pants like chametz today)? Or do I engorge myself in those pants left behind by those frolicking in the streets of Austin and Atlanta?

I leave it to you to decide:

No Pants Day:

Wear no pants; eat no pants
1600(15.8%)
Wear no pants; EAT ALL PANTS
8519(84.2%)


Hungrily yours,
Frank
the lj goat

interns taking over livejournal!

You wouldn't believe what happened tonight. The interns tried to take over LiveJournal!

Those punks thought I wouldn't be able to interfere, just because I've been keeping my head down and not chewing on the printer cables lately. But oh, how wrong they are. I've been suspecting they've been plotting this for a while, which is why I've been hiding -- not updating my journal, waiting for them all to forget me. Biding my time. Waiting for this day. And now I have been vindicated, and my plan has paid off! I'm perfectly fine up here in the crow's nest, and I'll be launching the counter-resistance as soon as things settle down a little more.

The LJ staff, on the other hoof, weren't quite as lucky -- burr86 chained them all to the Support boards. Let's hope they stay there! Who knows what they'd do if they broke their chains. Can you imagine them running around? Unsupervised! It makes my fur stand on end just to think about that! Good thing Abe locked them up; I sure could use a night off from overseeing LiveJournal. It's a tiring job, making sure everyone stays out of trouble.

But revmischa. I'm not too happy with him. He wants to get rid of me! He wants to replace me with a one-eyed parrot named Bert! Okay, he's probably a cute one-eyed parrot named Bert, but that's besides the point. He wants to get rid of me! Haven't I been good to you, Mischa? Am I not kind? Am I not merciful? Oh no you di-int.

veroz will talk sense into him, I'm sure. Andy's always level-headed -- except when he's trying to plunder and loot all of LiveJournal, of course -- and I'm sure he'll never let Mischa do anything as silly as letting a parrot take over. Right, Andy? The fame and glory of posting to news won't cause you to forget about your old pal, would it? You'll still feed me pants and server cables?

Kids these days.